Advice to a daughter

Advices that an Arab mother gave to her daughter who was getting married.


The First Advice

My beloved daughter! 
Lead a life of contentment. 
Be content even with simple food. 
The dry bread and water, 
which is eaten with contentment, 
is better than a rich meal, 
which is eaten after your persistant 
complaints, forcing him to 
grudgingly provide it for you. 

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Second Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
Always listen attentively to what your 
husband says. Give importance to what 
he says and do as he says. In this manner, 
you will soon win a place in his heart, because 
it is not really a person who is beloved, 
but what the person does that is most loved.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Third Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
Tend your beauty carefully 
so that whenever he will look 
at you, he will be pleased with his 
choice. Within the limits of decency, 
use as much fragrance as possible, 
and remember that no part of 
your body or dress should 
repulse him."

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Fourth Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
Be always attractive to him, put 
Surma in your eyes, for beautiful 
eyes make a person's whole being 
beautiful in the eyes of the beholder. 
Bath and do ablution regularly, 
as this is the best perfume 
and the best way to 
cleanliness.

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Fifth Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
Prepare his meals before it is 
time as hunger becomes a flame if 
not satisfied. During the hours of 
rest, keep it quiet and peaceful 
as disturbed sleep makes a 
man miserable and angry. 

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Sixth Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
Protect his home and treasure; 
let no one enter the house without 
his permission and do not waste his 
treasure by indulging in exhibition, 
for treasure can only be tended 
through good management and 
the family only through good 
sense. 

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Seventh Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
Never disobey him and always 
keep his secrets, for disobeying such 
a honourable man would put fuel to fire 
and revealing his secrets would destroy 
his trust in you. And you, yourself will 
not be safe from his (retaliatory) 
double standards. Someone has 
rightly said " To be trusted is 
better than to be loved."

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Eighth Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
If he is grieved over something, 
then do not mention to him anything 
that has pleased you. Share his grief. 
When he is happy, do not disclose your 
hidden grief and do not complain to 
your husband about his behaviour. 
Be happy with him. Otherwise 
you will be regarded as one 
who confuses him. 

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Ninth Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
If you wish to be respectable in his 
eyes, then honour and respect him 
and act according to his wishes. 
Then at every stage of your life 
you will find him to be your 
best companion. 

~~~~~***~~~~~

The Tenth Advice 

My beloved daughter! 
Hold fast onto this advice from me. 
Sweet flowers will not blossom in your 
life as long as you do not suppress your 
wish for his pleasure. My dear daughter, 
my darling! I bid farewell with these 
words and give you in Allah's care. 
May He make all steps in your life 
good and preserve you from 
all evil. (Ameen) 

~~~~~***~~~~~
May Allah bless us with the ability to implement these advices into our married lives, and May Allah (swt) bless us with the ability to fulfill all the responsibilities and promises that come with the bond of marriage. Ameen